Secrets of the Phoenix
by Jada Ryl
Summary: Suppose Fawkes had come for Snape as he did for Harry? How would that effect the events after Voldemort's death? Spoilers for DH. Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. Therefore I obviously do not own the Harry Potter series. If I did, do you honestly th
1. After the Battle

Snape made no motion as he heard Harry walk away. To be honest, he didn't have the strength, even if he'd wanted to move. The boy had been a thorn in his side for the past seven years. Now everything the older man had worked for was on the boy's shoulders. It was a humiliating irony. Dumbledore would be pleased, though. He had carried out his last command. Severus only hoped it would be enough. He could do nothing else now. He felt the snake's venom paralyzing him, leaving him unable to breathe. He only hoped he would be allowed to see Lily in the afterlife. A faint fluttering sound reached his ears as even that faded to nothing.

A loud, keening cry was the next thing that reached the former spy's senses. To his surprised, Severus discovered he was breathing. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked. He had never expected to see the Shrieking Shack in the hereafter. The keening cry struck his ears again and he winced. He turned his head. A flash of red met his eyes. "What -- ?" he muttered, scowling. He sat up and looked around. This time, he found an explanation for the ear-piercing sound. A vividly red bird stood next to where his head had lain.

The realization struck him like Potter's Impediment Jinx. He was still alive. The Dark Lord hadn't successfully killed him after all. "Thank you, Fawkes," he whispered, getting to his feet. His wand lay where he had dropped it when Voldemort had dropped Nagini's cage onto him. Severus stooped to pick it up. He ran down the stairs and into the tunnel. He had to get back to the school as soon as possible. No matter what Dumbledore said, he had no intention of letting Lily's son throw his life away, not to mention the other students or professors who would undoubtedly have stayed to fight. He disillusioned himself as he ran. Both sides would kill him if they saw him.

The former professor ran the short distance from the Womping Willow to the castle. To his surprise, he saw no Death Eaters around the school. Severus raised his wand toward the nearest school window. "Muffliatto, Diffindo," he whispered, watching the glass shatter and fall to the floor with a loud crash no one else would hear. He climbed through the window to be greeted by the sight of Bellatrix Lestrange's dead body. Relief flooded through along with heightened urgency. So far, their resistance seemed to have been successful. Yet how much time had passed since he had given Harry those memories? Severus left the body and ran on.

The sounds that greeted his ears as he approached the Great Hall were quite different from what he had expected. The fighting was learly over, for there were no spells being shouted back and forth. Neither, however, were there the sounds of raucous celebration that would have accompanied a victory by the Death Eaters. Cautiously, he glanced into the large room. Voldemort's body lay on the floor. Students, teachers, and Order members gathered in mingled triumph and grief. Yet there was no sign of Harry among them, either living or dead.

Severus slipped away quietly. Without thinking about it, he turned toward the Headmaster's Office. He must not have been watching where he was going, for he found himself falling against the wall. A brown-haired boy stood staring at him. Knowing it was now pointless, Severus quickly undid the Disillusionment Charm and held his wand at the ready.

"You!" the boy exclaimed angrily. "You double-crossing, treacherous snake-lover!" His hand moved toward his wand. "I should kill you now instead of letting the Order do it!"

"You really don't want to do this, Longbottom," Snape replied darkly. "If you were correct, I could have killed you by now, or worse."

Neville resolutely pulled out his wand and pointed it at Snape. "Expelliarmus," he said, his voice low and deadly.

Severus hastily erected a Shield Charm as his former student spoke. "Impeditmenta," he whispered, unwilling to use a more aggressive spell without need. Not for the first time, he wished he could disapparate on the school grounds. To leave, he would have to turn his back on the boy who was still clearly determined to detain him until someone from the Order arrived to arrest him. He dodged a Trip Jinx and sighed. "Stupefy," he said firmly and watched as the young man sank senseless to the floor.

He grimaced distastefully. Somehow, the ex-spy doubted this duel would improve his standing with the Order of the Phoenix. At least, it would seem, Harry had not shared those memories with anyone else. Not yet, that is. A sudden thought jolted through him. Had Harry kept them to himself simply because he had died before he'd had the chance to tell someone?

Severus strode away from the unconscious student and walked toward the Slytherin common room. If Kreacher was still alive and at Hogwarts, that would be the most likely place to find him. That elf, of all people, would be the most likely to know if Harry lived and least likely to kill Severus on sight.

Severus glanced around the green-lit room. At first, there was no sign of the crusty, stubborn elf. The Potions Master turned to go up to the boys dormitory. Just then, a loud crack announced the arrival of a house elf and triumphant cheering identified the elf as Kreacher. Severus spun quickly and faced the elf. "Kreecher, is Harry still alive?" he asked, urgency making his voice sharper than he intended it to be.

Glee erupted on Kreacher's face, causing the Potions Master's gut to clench. "Master Harry lives!" the house elf crowed. "Master Regulus would be pleased that Kreacher's master has avenged his death. Master Harry is almost as good a wizard as Master Regulus was!"

Severus released the breath he was holding, hiding his surprise. "Good," he said evenly. "Tell him to meet me at Spinner's End, Kreacher. Tell him and no one else."

The elf eyed him cautiously. "Perhaps the Headmaster should tell Master Harry himself," he countered.

The professor took a breath, forcing himself to stay calm, not to react. "I would if I could, Kreacher," he said with restrained impatience. "I don't have time to find him before I leave. Oh, and Kreacher, please tell him to keep those memories secret."

After a moment, Kreacher nodded slowly. Very well, the elf aquiesed. "But do not expect Master Harry to come. Kreacher knows the Headmaster help He Who Must Not Be Named."

Severus winced at those words. No matter how much time had passed since he had turned against the Dark Lord, he had once been a Death Eater and people had died because of it. He had caused Lily's death then. The guilt had yet to fade. Forcibly, he thrust those thoughts aside, reaching for the protective anger he always relied on when his thoughts turned ther around other people. "So did you, as I recall," he retorted coldly. "And a man died because of it."

The house elf glared. "If the Headmaster is going to speak like that, Kreacher might not give his message to Master Harry," he threatened.

Severus forced himself to relax. "I will stop, Kreacher. Just tell Harry" A shadow moved in a doorway. The wizard stepped to the fireplace ajd flooed to what had been the DADA teacher's office. He stepped to the window and jumped out. As he started to fall, he transformed into his Animagus form. Severus rose in the air, circling the castle once before flying away from the school.


	2. Revenge and Messages

StarGazer – Yes, that was the whole idea. I wanted to do an AU without directly contradicting canon. The delights of twisting implications, huh? ;-)

Emu – This chapter should answer whether or not Harry told everyone, although the book says his conversation was with Voldemort. Everyone else was simply overhearing by default. As for Neville being the one to encounter Snape, that was actually a last minute change. I had originally intended to give that role to Goyle. Neville seems to have grown up enough by this point, though, for him and Snape to face off. I rather enjoyed writing that part. About Snape being an Animagus, that was originally a misunderstanding on my part. However, I think it's a rather convenient one and intend to make the most of it. Btw, thanks for the constructive criticism. I really appreciate it.

DebsTheSlytherinSnapefan – Voldemort did die knowing that Snape wasn't his. Yes, Snape always was Lily's man. Oh great… Are you trying to send more plot bunnies after me before I even finish this fic? ;-)

Yashida and slytherinfan – Thanks for the reviews. I hope the rest of this doesn't disappoint you. J

To all – Sorry it took me so long to update.

Draco looked from face to face at the men and women who made up the Wizengamot and bit his lip. He would have glared at them if he dared, but his father had already been sent back to Azkaban. The Dark Lord was gone for good this time. His aunt's choice would do him no good, gain him no future. It would be far better to convince the Ministry and the Order to make a bargain if he could. Then he could someday free his father, if the older Malfoy could survive Azkaban long enough, and avenge the Death Eaters' defeat on the Order. The thought was sweetened further by the knowledge that his bargain would, itself, be an act of revenge on his traitorous former Head of House. The boy held back a smile. He would yet make his father proud of him.

"Draco Malfoy," the pompous voice of the interim Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt, demanded. "Do you have an answer to these charges?"

Draco inhaled deeply and forced himself to look contrite. "No, sir," he admitted, his voice carrying his disappointment. He hoped that they would believe the disappointment was with his failure to see his father's so-called evil. "I did join the Death Eaters. I see now that I was wrong. I was too focused on pleasing my father, in the beginning, and refused to really see what I was doing. Then, when I finally did, I thought there was no way out. I can hardly believe I did it. I would like to do what I can to make up for what I did before you send me to Azkaban."

Murmurs of surprise rippled through the room. The teenager forced down the hatred and resentment he felt at their reactions. He could not let it show if he ever hoped to salvage the mess Potter had made of his life.

"Make up for what you have done?" It was the pompous Weasley prat. "What was done cannot be undone, Malfoy. No one can raise the dead."

"I know," the prisoner replied quietly. "But I can at least help you bring his murderer to justice. Severus Snape has gone to his home at Spinner's End."

Draco's revelation was met with stunned silence. That sickened the teenager further. He stared at the floor instead of glaring at the Order members and Ministry officials. Why should they be surprised that he would betray a traitor? Especially when they still considered Snape a Death Eater. How was it everyone could believe that meddling sneak, Potter, and expect such things of him, but he, solely for his parentage and House, was somehow too low, too evil to do the same? Blood traitors and mudbloods, the lot of them.

"Very well, Malfoy," Shacklebolt finally said. "We will investigate Spinner's End. If you are indeed telling us the truth, we will talk again."

Draco sighed quietly and nodded his understanding. Considering what his parents had told him about the trials sixteen years ago, he knew this was the best he could hope for. Soon he would be free to pursue the studies that would make his father proud of him. If they let Karkaroff go for handing them the younger Crouch, surely they would let him go for this. Soon he would surely be free to pursue the studies that would make his father proud of him.

"Why did you insist on those Memory Charms, Harry?" Hermione demanded. "It made no sense at the time and it's even worse now that we all know Snape's still alive."

"Think at it, Hermione," Harry replied firmly. "He didn't want anyone to know what was in those memories. If you'd heard what he said to Dumbledore about that, you'd understand. I had intended to eventually speak to Eldred Worple about using them for a biography. Now that I know Snape's alive, I'm really glad we used the charms. They're his memories. I can't let everyone else know about them unless he asks me."

"He gave them to you, Harry," Ron countered. "We all know how he feels about you. You're the last person he'd give them to. He mustn't care anymore."

"He did it only because of Dumbledore," Harry argued, his lips forming a hard line. "You didn't see him in the Shrieking Shack. The only way he could possibly alive is if Fawkes came to him just as I left. And Fawkes would only come if he showed deep loyalty to Dumbledore, like when I was in the Chamber of Secrets six years ago, right? Snape promised Dumbledore he'd tell me about the last horcrux, not that Dumbledore used that term. I would never have believed him if he hadn't included all those memories and he knew that. It was his only way of fulfilling Dumbledore's last assignment. I'm sure he still wants it kept secret."

"But, Harry, they're the only way to keep him out of Azkaban," Hermione replied quietly. "Surely he'd rather reveal those memories than that!"

"If it ever comes to that, we – or at least I – will be able to ask him about that," Harry decided. Before he could say any more, he was interrupted by a loud CRACK. "Kreacher," he exclaimed to the house elf. "There's news from Hogwarts?"

"Yes, Master Harry," was the reply. "Kreacher heard the Cat Professor say Lucius Malfoy was sent back to Azkaban yesterday ago. She also said Draco's trial is tomorrow and she expects him to be sent to Azkaban as well. And the Headmaster gave kreacher a message for you." The wizened creature glowered. "Kreacher thinks you should ignore it."

"A message from the Headmaster?" Harry asked, leaning forward eagerly. "You mean from Snape? What is it? What did he want?"

The house elf sighed and reluctantly began to speak. "He wants you to meet him at Spinner's End." Kreacher's voice was a displeased growl. "He also said to keep the memories secret."

Harry threw his two best friends a triumphant look. "I told you he wouldn't want anyone else to know," he said before turning back to Kreacher. "Thanks, Kreacher. And there really is no reason for me to ignore the message. Snape hasn't been working for Voldemort since I was a baby. We just didn't know until now."

Kreacher gave Harry a dubious look but did not argue. "Does Master Harry want Kreacher to return to Hogwarts or to go home?"

Harry thought for a moment. "How is Winky?" he then asked before answering. "Is she still drinking as much as she was a year ago?"

Kreacher shook his head. "No, but she still drinks too much. Kreacher thinks if she had a new family, she might stop."

"Ron, do you think we could – ?" Hermione let the question trail off at the look on the red-head's face.

"Maybe in a couple years, 'Mione," he said thoughfully. "But we don't have our own place yet and it's rather early to even think about that yet, I would think."

Hermione's face turned bright red. She sighed quietly. "There's got to be something we can do," she muttered.

Harry grinned at them. "Kreacher, would you ask her if she'd come to Grimmauld Place with you? I plan to find another house, but until then you could both live there."

Kreacher looked at the young man with surprise. "Master Harry is very different than last year," he said slowly. "Kreacher will ask Winky, but will Master Harry not be living at his home?"

"I hope another will be living there soon, Kreacher," Harry said quietly. "It holds too many memories for me now. Maybe someday, I will. When I'm more used to them and they grow a little more distant. Meanwhile, there's someone else who needs me."

Kreacher disapparated with another loud crack as Harry turned to Ron and Hermione. "Shall we get Ginny and leave for Spinner's End?" he asked, standing.

Severus woke to muffled voices outside his window. He shook his hair from his eyes as he stood and walked over to the window. Hestia Jones, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Arthur Weasley, and Cho Chang stood on the street below. So someone had indeed overheard him with Kreacher and they had told the Ministry.

Severus turned from the window and walked to his desk. He pulled a drawer open and took out a short sheet of parchment. He grabbed a quill and wrote a brief sentence in large letters. Hopefully, someone would think to ask Harry what a message to him might mean. He bewitched it to give Harry another message should the parchment ever find its way into his hands. Reaching for his wand, he disapparated as he heard the front door open.


	3. The Home of the Second Phoenix

Severus silently opened the door. The house was dark inside, as he expected, as it had always been. A ghostly figure greeted him as he closed the door behind him.

"Severus Snape?" Mad-Eye's voice asked.

The former spy nearly choked on his rage as he felt his tongue unroll. "I didn't kill you, Albus," he replied, his angry voice harsh but quiet. He clenched his fists as the ghost-like image dissipated. Hopefully, Harry would not show up too soon. It would be too easy to vent his anger on the boy who looked so much like the man who had made his schoolboy days so miserable. He took the ripped picture of Lily and dropped it on the arm of the nearest chair before he went upstairs.

The four friends blinked as they took in the shabby, unkempt appearance of the dingy street. Harry grimaced at the thought of anyone growing up here. The brief images he'd seen of Snape's childhood made much more sense now. The street had the feel of a giant cupboard. "No wonder my aunt spoke the way she did about this place," he muttered.

"Snape grew up here?" Ginny asked in surprise. "How could anyone stand it?"

"I'll bet all Muggles would have lived somewhere much worse than this if you hadn't beaten Voldemort, Harry," Hermione mused quietly. "And the wizards who didn't support Voldemort wouldn't be much better off. It'd be like the Nazis."

"Who are the Nazis? Oh, never mind," Ron growled. "Who cares what he might have done? He didn't get to do it. Let's just find Snape and leave."

"Ssh!" Hermione hissed. "Look!" She pointed to where four familiar figures were stepping out of a house across the road, evidently holding some serious conversation. "I think we'd better come back later."

It was too late. "Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione!" It was Mr. Weasley. "_What_ are you doing here? You could have been hurt or killed. Haven't the Death Eaters kill enough people already?" His normally jovial face looked rather strained as his eyes bored into Ron and Ginny. "I have lost enough of my family."

"I thought all the Death Eaters were arrested immediately after the battle," Harry objected, not bothering to hide his shock. Surely Kreacher wouldn't have given the message to anyone else but his master. "We shouldn't have to worry about anything more dangerous than whatever Muggles live here."

Shacklebolt glared at them. "You know we have yet to apprehend Snape," he countered. "This is his home. And he was here quite recently. This morning, in fact."

"I am no longer convinced that Snape really was a Death Eater," Harry replied evenly, holding the older man's eyes. "Voldemort may have tortured his followers when he got angry, but he was not prone to killing the most loyal and successful Death Eaters in a fit of rage – or failing to kill someone he marked for death. Besides, I've dueled with him before without any serious injury. Between the four of us, we should be a match for him, even if he did attack us."

The two men paled. "Harry, that's the same sort of reasoning that led to Dumbledore's murder," Mr. Weasley warned sternly. "Promise me that you'll be cautious, all four of you. Ginny, you're still sixteen. I don't want you involved in this risk-taking at all until you're of age. The rest of you, haven't you learned from the mistakes of your teachers?"

Harry relaxed at those words and smiled. "Yes, we have, sir," he replied. "I believe I can promise for all of us that we're not planning to take any risks we don't have to. I think have learned a _little_ caution over the past year. At any rate, we saw what we came to see. We might as well leave and let you four finish your search."

"Actually, Harry, we could use your help," Cho interjected. "Do you have any idea why Snape would leave you a message about Fawkes?"

Harry shrugged. "No idea," he replied, shaking his head. "Did you leave it there or…? Maybe if I could take a good look at it, I could make some sense of it. Or Hermione might, at least."

"I have it." Mr. Weasley handed a large, folded sheet of parchment to him. "But be careful with it. Snape has always been a rather devious man. We were unable to detect any Dark magic in it, but he may have been able to hide some curse in it that we were unable to detect here."

"Don't worry, Dad," Ron interjected rather impaciently. "After the Horcruxes, I should hope we've learned how to be careful about these kinds of things. Let's go back and take a look at this."

All four breathed a sigh of relief as they arrived back in Ron's room at the burrows. "That was a little close for my taste," Ginny muttered. "I don't even want to think what Dad would have done if he'd found out what we were doing."

"He'd have gone mental," Ron added. "Not to mention that we've gone from fighting Voldemort to helping a supposed Death Eater stay out of Azkaban. He'd never understand unless you shared those memories with him."

"And I'm not doing that," Harry replied. He laid the parchment on Ron's bed, spread open. "What?! 'Potter, take Fawkes to his mutt's house'?! I'm not surprised they asked me what it means! I don't even know what he was thinking!"

"Merlin's pants, couldn't he have been even a little clearer?" Ron grumbled. "How does he expect us to make sense of that?!"

Harry shook his head. "Who knows, after all, this is Snape we're talking about," he pointed out. "We've always had Hermione with us and he knew it. He was probably expecting me to tell you two and figures she'll figure it out if I can't." He picked up the message and moved to hand it to Hermione. "Oh, wait!" he exclaimed as his eyes fell on a line of much smaller writing. "There's more. 'Meet me at the home of the second Phoenix.' I can't believe no on noticed that earlier!"

Ginny took the parchment from Harry and began looking it over. "I don't see anything except about Fawkes, Harry," she replied with a slight frown. "Where was it?"

"I saw it, too, Ginny," Ron answered for Harry. " It was right below the other writing. I don't see how you can miss it."

"What I don't understand," Hermione interjected as Harry stepped over out point out the line to Ginny. "Is that bit about Fawkes' mutt's house and a _second_ phoenix. Unless Dumbledore had two?"

Harry's eyes widened as the second line reappeared when he touched the parchment. "No, I think the second line explains the first," he replied.

Ginny gasped. "Of course!" she exclaimed excitedly. "The _second_ Order of the Phoenix! That's got to be it, Harry!"

Ron glared at his sister. "Then why that bit about Fawkes' mutt's house?" he countered. "You haven't explained that part. As far as I know, no one in the Order has ever had a dog."

"No," Hermione said slowly. "But two Order members had canine alternate forms. If Fawkes is simply there to refer to the Order, it could refer to one of them."

"Of course!" Harry exclaimed. He slapped his forehead. "You were right, Ginny. I know where Snape is! The Order had a mutt, as Snape might care to call him, not someone in the Order. The headquarters we in his home!"

Ginny stood. "Then what are we waiting for? Dad to get home and ask if we've figured this out yet? Someone else to connect the phoenix and Sirius?"

"But we're not apparating this time," Ron growled. "If Dad or Mom had the slightest suspicion you apparated to Spinner's End on your own, we'd get a Howler. Mom's not home. Let's use the Floo."

The others nodded in agreement and followed Ron downstairs. Ginny went first, followed by Hermione. Harry took a handful of powder from the pot Ron held. He smiled at his best friend. "No need to look like you're about to swallow poison," he commented encouragingly. "We're just going to repay a favor."

He sighed when Ron continued to look gloomy. "Come on, Ron. It can't be that bad. He did save all our lives, as you should remember. And helped us destroy the Horcruxes. He is as innocent as Sirius was, Ron."

Harry smiled as he stepped into the fireplace. "Number 12, Grimmauld Place," he enunciated clearly as he dropped the handful of Floo Powder. The magical spinning to the Weasley residence from view.

As the spinning stopped, Harry slid onto the hearth in his own house. Shaking his head, he stood. The spectral figure of Moody's curse rose in front of him.

"Severus Snape?"

Harry grimaced as he replied. He would have to find some way to remove that curse. It really was no longer necessary and it would get tiresome to answer every time he entered the house. He walked over to where the girls stood, waiting. A moment later, Ron slid onto the hearth. Harry sighed with relief, a smile ouching his lips. "I was a bit worried you'd decided not to come, after all."

"Well, you're right, Harry," Ron admitted, slightly red-faced after he answered the curse figure. "We do owe this to him. All of us, me included. So, what next?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess we search the house." He walked toward the kitchen. "Too bad we didn't bring some food along. I suspect we're going to regret that, especially if Snape decides to risk Azkaban rather than let us release those memories." He made a face. "After Dumbledore, no one will listen to us without them."

Hermione walked toward the front door. "Harry," she called, holding up a torn card. "I think you'll want to see this."

Harry ran to Hermione's side and looked over her shoulder. "My mother!" he exclaimed, pulling the other piece of the picture from his pocket. "We were right. Snape's here or, at least, he's been here recently."

"Indeed," a rich, bass voice replied sarcastically from the top of the steps. "Congratulations on deciphering the message."

"I'm sorry you had to leave it, Professor," Harry replied mildly. "Kreacher did not relay your first message until this morning." He paused. "Thank you. I might have won that last duel with Voldemort, but I could never have done it without you. How can we help?"

Severus stared at his former student. He had never dreamt Potter, of all people, would say such a thing to him. After the taunting, accusations, and baiting that he himself had begun, Severus never expected the boy would try to look must his anger, even with those memories. For the first time since he was fifteen, Lily's eyes held friendship for him. Somehow, the rest of Potter's face didn't matter just now. All the former professor could see was those green eyes looking at him the way they had when he was a child. The silence grew awkward as he found himself reluctantly pulled into old memories.

Someone coughed quietly. "Professor." It was Granger's voice this time. "Can we help?"

Severus pulled himself back to the present. "Yes," he drawled. "You can make sure no one else sees those memories. Beyond that, I merely called you here to return a couple items to your possession."

"You realize, sir, that if the Order finds you, they'll send you to Azkaban?" Ginny's voice was quiet. "The only way to stop them is those memories. They'll never believe anything else."

"Which is as it should be," the former spy countered summarily. "I don't want anyone else to have access to those memories, no matter what." Severus felot the blood leave his face at the thought of men like Shacklebolt and Weasley seeing what those memories held. He tried to grab the anger that would banish the fear, the shame of having everyone in the wizarding community know what he really was, the worst he'd done. He would rather lose his soul than face that. He almost missed the knowing look that Potter pinned on Granger.

"In that case, Professor, I have an offer for you." Severus found himself wishing he could look away, but Harry continued to hold his eyes. "If you'd like to stay here, we could keep the Order and the Ministry looking elsewhere for you."

"Actually, I recently learned how to cast the Fidelius Charm from a book I picked up at Diagon Alley,"Granger burst out before Severus could reply. "If you would choose a Secret Keeper, I be willing to cast it."

Severus would have found the look on Ron Weasley's face amusing if it weren't for his own astonishment, which he could not hide. It was not that he found her initial statement at all surprising, of course, but rather that he would never have expected her offer. He wondered if even Dumbledore would have bothered, despite what the man had done for him almost seventeen years ago. He glanced from Granger to Potter. "Very well," he said quietly.


	4. Haunted Memories

Draco smiled to himself as he walked away from the Ministry of Magic.  He was free – free to study, free to cememnt his mask, free to plan his revenge, free to make his father proud.  He walked across the street to join his waiting mother.  "Let's go," he said with a small smile.

"It's over," she whispered with a sigh.  She reached up and embraced her son.  "I was so worried about you, Draco!  Let's go home."

Draco shook his head.  "There's something I have to get first," he replied quietly.  "Then we can go home."  He dropped his voice to whisper.  "It's for Father."

He almost told his mother about his plans to free his father and destroy what was left of what had been the Order of the Phoenix.  At first, only his proximity to the Ministry stopped him.  Then he remembered his mother's reaction to his assignment two years ago.  She was the last person he could tell.  Only her love for him would keep her from telling Shacklebolt.

Tonight he would begin his transformation from schoolboy to Dark Wizard in earnest.  If only he had made this decision two years earlier, he could have learned so much more from his father and the other Death Eaters.  Instead, he had waired until all teacher of the Dark Arts were either dead or in Azkaban.  He focused his mind on Diagon Alley and felt himself enter the familiar, suffocating, frozen nothingness.

Harry stared at Snape.  "Why did you choose me?" he asked quietly.  "I would have expected you to choose anyone else.  Until a year ago, Hermione was always the one to suggest you were in the right.  I was the one who kept assuming the worst."

Snape held the young wizard's eyes.  "I suppose it's because I finally realized that Dumbledore was right," he said slowly, hesitantly.  "I should have seen it before, of course, but I didn't want to.  I saw what I wanted to see.  You have inherited your father's looks and talents, Potter, but you are your mother's son.  Your father would probably ignored my message."

Harry was silent.  He had never seen Snape seem so vulnerable except in the pensieve.  To his surprise, he found it more frightening than the man's rage the day Snape had caught him in the pensieve.  He had no words to respond to such a n admission from this man.  A feeling akin to shame made him look away.

"But why wouldn't you want to see Harry as Lily Potter's son?" Hermione asked, making Harry want to cringe.  "You loved her."

"I still do," the deep voice replied.  "And that is why I wanted him to be like his father.  It was hard enough to live with what I had done to her as it was.  Seeing her in Potter would have made the guilt unbearable."

"Please, Professor," Harry interrupted, trying to hide his discomfort.  "You've already admitted I'm not my father.  Call me Harry."

"Very well, P – Harry," Snape agreed, stumbling over the name.  "I think the hardest part has been seeing you with Lily's eyes and knowing my own children can't have anything of hers."

All four children stared at him.  No, they weren't children anymore, Severus remined himself.  Three of them were of age.  After a battle with the Death Eaters, no one could remain a child.

"You have children, Professor?" the Granger girl asked quietly.  "How many children do you have?  Who will take care of them, now that you're in hiding?"

Severus slumped forward in the chair, letting what was left of his hard mask dissolve.  If he had realized how much he would end up telling Potter – no, Harry – and that he would be unable to hide his pain like he always had before, he would never have asked the boy to meet him.  Especially since he hadn't expected the boy to come alone.  "Yes, two," he replied softly.  "A daughter and a son.  They're already being cared for."

Severus looked down at the tiny girl as she slept in the elderly wizard's arms.  "You are absolutely certain the Dark Lord will return?" he whispered, despite already knowing the answer.   "There's no way she can safely stay with us?"  He had dreaded this since Renee told him she was pregnant.

"I'm sorry, Severus," Albus replied sympathetically with a shake of his head.  "But you will see her again when she comes to Hogwarts, you know.  Perhaps by then Voldemort will be gone for good and you can take her back."

The younger man nodded, gently brushing his daughter's cheek.  "At least tell me where you're taking her," he requested as the baby instinctively wrapped a fist around his finger and yawned.  Severus could not help noticing how tiny she was.

"That would just make it harder for you and Renee."  The white-haired man shifted the child in his arms.  "I'm afraid it's best for all of you that you don't know."

Severus sighed softly.  It really was better this way.  His baby would be safe and she wouldn't have to grow up with a man like him for a father.  He eased his finger out her grip and held his wand to her forehead.  "Dorma memoria," he whispered tenderly.

He stepped away from Dumbledore and watched silently as the other wizard carried his child to the fireplace.  Against his will, he felt tears slipping down his cheeks.  At least Anastasis would never have to think she wasn't wanted.  He heard footsteps behind him and turned away, unable to watch as his mentor and his daughter vanished in green flames and smoke.

"Anastasis will be going to Hogwarts next year," Snape said quietly.  "I haven't seen her since she was a baby."

Harry glanced over at Ginny and winkes as an idea formed in his mind.  "Then I guess I'll see her at school," he remarked, trying to sound casual.  "Professor MacGonigal said Ron, Hermione, and I could make up our seventh year.  Shall I tell her I saw you, Professor?"

Snape seemed to hesitate, then shook his head.  "Perhaps if I knew where Albus took her," he replied.  "But if you would tell me about her, I would appreciate it."

"By the way, Professor," Harry began.  H ecould feel the blood leaving his face.  He hoped he wasn't making a mistake to bring this up.  Snape had been furious enough at the time.  Harry had no idea how the man might react to it being brought up now.

"Harry, I'm not a professor anymore," the other black-haired man interrupted.

Harry shrugged and continued.  If Snape could let him see… well, see this, surely he could return the favor.  "I believe I owe you an apology."  He ignored a pointed look from Hermione.  "Around two years, I went into your pensieve after Umbridge called you away.  I don't think I've done anything I have regretted more.  Except going to the Department of Mysteries.  I'm sorry, sir.  And if it helps any, I was _not_ having fun."

Severus resisted the urge to flinch as Harry mentioned the incident that had endedtheir Occlumency lessons the boy's fifth year.  He looked down at his hands silently.  It was too late to mask his true feelings with anger this time.  He owed Harry too much now.  Besides, this was neither his office not Spinner's End.  He could not send Harry away this time.  Severus felt a muscle twitch in his jaw.  If only he could leave the room, but he knew that was no option.

There was a sigh.  It sounded disappointed.  "I understand, sir."  Harry's voice sounded withdrawn, as if a part of him had left the room while the rest of the boy lingered.  "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, it was good that you did," Severus countered.  "I just… I'm not used to receiving apologies.  And, I suppose, I should also apologize.  I did not handle that well at all."  He grimaced.  "D – the Headmaster was quite put out with me.  I could easily have done more than scare you.  If one of those jars had hit you…"  Severus let the sentence trail off, unwilling to actually verbalize that he could have killed Harry without intending to do so.  That he had lost control that badly.

"You did scare me, sir, but not as badly as what I saw in the pensieve," the boy admitted.  "That memory…  It was almost as bad as the Cruciatus.  Sirius told me my dad grew out of that, but it was still horrible to see him treat someone like that.  He reminded me of my cousin and Malfoy, actually.  The amount of times Dudley and his friends have done things like that to me…"

Severus blinked.  He had seen a few of those memories during the Occlumency lessons, but he had virtually ignored them.  It was becoming increasingly apparent to him that in his guilt, resentment, and pain, he had badly deluded himself.  He had not only misrepresented the boy, but also convinced himself that Harry had everything he himself had wanted as a boy, much like James had had.  Sometimes, the truth was as humiliating as anything Potter and Black had done to him.  What a fool he'd been!

He finally forced himself to look up at Harry.  Suddenly, he realized they were alone.  "I guess we're even, then," he replied, covering his embarrassment with a smirk.  "And thank you for not discussing that memory with your friends."

Harry grinned and Severus thought he recognized a knowing look in the young man's eyes.  "Well, we need to leave before Mrs. Weasley  returns to the Burrows and grills us about what we've been doing," the boy said, standing.  "Kreacher and Winky should be here before long.  Feel free to redecorate, unless you _enjoy_ this morbid place.  I'll stop by when I can.  Maybe the others will, too.  Send Kreacher or Winky if you need anything." 

Severus stood and slowly held out his hand.  "Thank you, Harry," he said quietly.  He watched as Harry's hand reached out for grasp his own.  Sometimes, the humiliation of being badlyh self-deceived was worth it.

The two men left the room at the same time. As the younger man went in search of his companions, the older went upstairs.  Severus smiled to himself.  So Harry had given him permission to redecorate the house.  That could be an… interesting way to pass the his time.  Not to mention how amusing it might be to see the look on Harry's face when he came in.  he quite agreed with the boy that this place, as it was now, was quite morbid.  Not even his office had been this bad.

Author's Note: This is likely the last chance I will have to update for around a year.  I do have more written, and I have every intention of completing this fic when I can.  However, I'm leaving in half a week for an intensive discipleship program.  Unfortunately, as much as I'm looking forward to it, it will leave me with little to no time to write and no computer access.  My sincere apologies.  If I find any way of having the rest that's written, at least, posted before then, I will definitely take it.


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